Doodles of a crazy man!

The Christmas trip to Goa was quite amazing. We had planned for this trip from a very long time. What was planned as a trip needing a tempo traveller turned out to be a Tata Indica trip. No R&D was done for the trip, no planning. We had not even booked for any hotel rooms (Take that for audacity!) We leave Bangalore pretty late on friday night (as usual all estimates got screwed up) and even an uncomfortable car like Indica could not stop me from having a decent sleep. I was half awake the next morning near Karwar and I was humming the song "I ain't gonna miss her tonight". Hey, I don't seem to remember whose song it is. Have I heard it before? Then, it strikes me that it was some stanza and tune I had composed during early morning sleep! It does not take me even a minute to realize that the inspirations for this song are two contrasting songs - Jim Reeves' "I Miss Me" and Eric Clapton's "I Ain't Gonna Stand It". Its not plagiarism,...

My deep "second innings sleep" of monday morning was disturbed by the familiar loud voice. The radio in the volvo bus had caught the signal of some number one radio station of Bangalore (Did you know that there is no "number two" radio station in Bangalore? Every channel claims to be number one!) Harsha and Shwetha were as loud and incoherent as any RJs (I feel only Sunaina Lal is tolerable, for that contagious energy!) Their job was not only playing bad songs, but to give irrelevant solutions to unwanted problems of useless people. Some guy called Raja had mailed them about his problem! Raja knew Pinky from the last two and a half years. It looked like they were in love. Or at least they were headed that way. From the last month or so, Raja was not able to talk to Pinky. He had mailed these experts to help him out! Shwetha was shouting her lungs out "Should Raja wait for Pinky? Or should he forget her and get on with his life? For option A, SMS A to...okay Raj...

Running out of original ideas is not the only reason why I am writing this article. ;) I happened to stumble upon Devil's Dictionary last week. It is a satirical book by Ambrose Bierce , having funny interpretations of English words. There are very few things that have made me laugh whole-hearted and this was definitely one among them. Here are a few definitions that I loved very much. Abstainer : A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure. Absurdity : A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion. Acquaintance : A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. Admiration : Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves. Apologize : To lay the foundation for a future offense. Armor : The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith. Brain : An apparatus with which we think we think. Congratulation : The civility of envy. Conservative : A statesman enam...

I am quite a cricket fan myself and I love watching and playing cricket (arguably the best left handed batsman of Kuvempunagar ;)) I don't care if it is a test match or one-day, Indo-Pak series or World Cup. I can even watch the galli cricket, as I adore the art in the game. Its the poetry in the game that appeals to me. I always considered that Indian cricket team consists of some amazing players, but we are nowhere near when it comes to a good team. We have never won convincingly for too long and we are never predictable (Its not just a problem with India, but all the sub-continent teams) Off late, India have been playing pretty badly (as bad as they are capable of) and we are seeing intense reactions from the "fans". I somehow don't understand many of the logic behind the anger of the "fans"! 1) The most stupid statement I hear very often is "Cricketers are playing badly because they are concentrating too much on advertisements". Come on, can an...

I looked at him as I locked my computer on this friday evening. He was finishing the final few activities in the project, as he was supposed to leave onsite on another assignment. I queued Anoushka's Yaman Kalyan and Kirwani back to back in my ipod and lifted my bag. He was playing some old country songs in his winamp, while his IDE was talking to cvs to check in the last set of files. I entered the cab and removed my slippers. (Being barefoot makes me so happy!) He was tying the lace of his shoes - getting ready for his longest association with shoes, after his high school days. He is 26, well, an year younger to me. I know him quite well. Its not surprising that we share the same name. People have told me that we are so alike (many can't differentiate between the two of us), but somehow I feel we are pretty different, in spite of all those similarities. He has never seen snow, never been to skiing. He has never heard Prem Joshua (Jeez, and he still claims to have a great co...

December 2002. It was when a lot of people were quitting the company where I was working. Everyday somebody used to come to my cubicle and say "Today is my last day...I have not yet decided where to join...well, keep in touch" Then, I think I had the concept in the back of my mind. While I was listening to some country song, I just happened to utter the line "Admiration's the name of the feeling that I had". I thought for a while and the second stanza was ready. By evening, I was done with the whole song (including the tune!) Until late 2004, nobody was even aware of the existence of this song! One evening, there was power cut at my home and I recorded this song in my mobile out of sheer boredom (which I had intended to delete later and forgot!). My brother listened to the song the same weekend, when he was looking at my mobile and he kind of liked it. Even a few of his friends and some of my colleagues heard it and they also liked it. Finally, I developed great...

It took me a few minutes less today to complete SuDoKu, Kakuro and other puzzles in Bangalore Times. I still had another 10 mins to reach office. What to do? Read Bangalore Times, of course! We all know its a crappy paper, but we all read it (like the old people who crib and watch mega serials and soap operas!) I expected to read some crappy article like - green is the 'in-color' this season or why pubs should be opened even after 11 or Mahima loves her dog more than her mom or why women are preferring metrosexual male to the ubersexual male or something like that. But, I was disappointed. Today's topic was about Bangalore being renamed to Bengalooru! One college student was of the opinion that "ooru" would be like village name. Kid, the word for village is haLLi, if you care to know. Some businessman suggested that government should concentrate on improving infrastructure than on these "silly" things. Mate, its as ridiculous as saying that you stop goin...

He is on 49. The innings has been long. He is no specialist, but importantly he has managed to hung in there. Oh, he seizes the opportunity and scampers for a quick single...and thats 50! No, I am not giving some cricket commentary. Its about my blog! And this is my 50th post :) If somebody had told me an year back that I would be blogging , I would have told "You must be joking". Well, life has its own weird way of proving you wrong! And here I am writing this post when the entire country is busy bursting crackers. The English classes in my PU days were mainly of two types - one is somehow escaping from getting caught by the teacher (My PU friends, remember A Meera?) and second is getting thrown out of the classroom. The reason? I hated writing on anything we were assigned. I always thought that writing was not my medium of expression and speech was far more effective in conveying what I wanted to. But, my visit to Salt Lake City late last year forced me to open my ...

The last week was pretty hectic. We had our company's anniversary day and it was communicated to us just a week back. I was not even given a chance to say no for my performance. My work as such was pretty hectic. I was not getting any ideas. "about:blank"! I tried to do a sequel skit to the last year's "Munnabhai J2EE". It did not excite me at all. I could do a great spoof on Pulp Fiction. Nah, many people would not have heard about the movie, let alone appreciate the spoof. Finally, I started writing a skit about software companies taking underworld projects like supari killings and extortion. It came out okay on paper, it was kind of satirical comedy. A better actor would have pulled it off beautifully, but I was not at all confident. I was running out of ideas, and more importantly I was running out of time. I was feeling pathetic. I love this phase, because most of the times, it is this phase that gives you different ideas. Just 3 days left, one of my fr...

I had been to Chamundi hills this saturday with my brother. We both love to observe people and do unwanted analysis and build imaginary theories or stories around that. We stopped to take some rest near the 600-mark. A group of middle aged pot bellied uncles were arguing about who would reach the hill top if they started running now and some intense discussion about chicken curries. It got boring after a while and our attention turned towards two vehicles parked nearby. One was a scooty KA-09 EE-33 something. Other was a Kinetic Nova KA-09 EE-38 something. We started doing our analysis with the minimal details that we had. The analysis made below are highly prone to inaccuracies, due to the lack of details. Since the vehicles are scooty and nova, they must be the vehicles of two girls. Since scooty looks like an older registration, it must be of one of the friends - who must be confident among the two. The second girl had no intention of buying a vehicle. But, her friend would have ...

"I should go to Chamundi hill sometime". Perhaps, I had got this thought over a hundred times in the last year. I generally get this thought in Bangalore-Mysore bus on friday evenings, and I had not gone even once! But, this time I got really disgusted with myself for getting this thought. Call it inaction, laziness, inertia, procrastination or any such crappy word. Whats the use of thought without action? I had to get out of that instant bad feeling. I will go to Chamundi hills tomorrow morning. 'But, getting early on saturday after a strenous(!) journey on friday night might be difficult', my mind made one last unsuccessful attempt to ruin my plans. No way, I am going tomorrow. I get up at 6.30 AM and reach the base of Chamundi hills. The weather is cool, perhaps the sun planned for a delayed rise over the weekend. "When you are determined, the whole world conspires to help you", I said to myself. There are very few people there, in fact there are more mon...

Year 1999...class ten in some high school...there were 4 friends... Sheetal Udupa - The sports star of the school. She was a natural athlete and was the best basketball player in the city. The only games she did not like were indoor games like carrom and chess. Nah, they were too boring for her. She was 5' 11'', a cool half foot taller than the second tallest girl in her class. Nazneen Baig - The class topper. Biology was her favorite subject. To her, parthenium was not just parthenium. It was class 'Magnoliopsida' and kingdom 'Asteraceae'! Sushmita B - The most 'enthu' girl in the group. There wont be a dull moment if she is around. Her high energy would have made even the punjabis look sober! Chaitra Narayan - A very normal girl. An average looking girl, moderately intelligent and not particularly talented. You would not have noticed her if she was in some other group. 7 years later...they are now at a "marriageable" age... Sheetal - Now ...

1) I am on top of the hill. The cool breeze hits my face, I love it. I am briskly descending the steps. Well, I am almost running. I see a few oldies with huge pot bellies, desperately trying to get rid of decades of hard earned fat. A beautiful girl just passes by. I have not seen her before; she is definitely not from my college! I increase my walking pace, I can reach down within 10 mins. And suddenly, I slip, lose my balance and fall down the slope… …and I wake up! I look at my watch. It was less than 5 mins since I had slept. Not once have I got up in the middle of the night because of this dream. (whenever I get this dream, I get this within 5 mins of sleep) I had read somewhere that this is the most common dream and ‘insecurity’ is the cause for this (Great discovery! No one can prove it wrong, as all the people have some insecurity or the other!) 2) Sometime in 2001. Its my last semester exam. The question paper is very easy, I know answers to all the questions. But, I am very ...

I'm standing in the noisiest street Searching for a bit silence Its way too crowded out here And all I need is some oxygen. Some say hi as they walk past me Few smiled and spoke nice words The handshakes, the smiles and hugs Made me feel more pathetic. Couldn't stay for long, I had to run But didn't move an inch Is the whole world against me Or am I on a treadmill? Feel like I'm falling off a deep cliff Gravity reduced by a tenth All the cacophony around me Fused into a symphony. I am too tired of the journey And only a few breaths left All of a sudden I realize that I was looking at a huge mirror. PS 1 : If this does not make any sense, congrats! You are in perfect mental health. PS 2 : This is not a poem. Its just a combination of non sense and new line characters, for better readability.

"He is a good person, sir. Very God fearing man", the old man was saying to his friend. "Stupid!", I almost said it aloud, as I heard this conversation. This is not the first time I was hearing something like this. And every time I come across a statement like this, I feel as irritated. Belief in God is the personal choice of anyone, just like brand of denims he wears or the drink he loves. What has goodness of a person got to do with his belief in God? Don't you think its stupid? Its as meaningless as saying "He is a good person, he has brown eyes" or "He is a good person, his favorite color is green". Stupid! I know what you're going to say if you think I am wrong. That belief in God instills a fear in man that prevents him from doing bad things. You may be right to some extent. But, I feel being a good person because of awareness or self-thinking is much much better than being a good person out of fear. Long time back, even I was scare...

It was late evening. He stood there in what was famously known as the smoking zone of the cafetaria. He loved watching the city from the seventh floor of his company - from where even the chaos would look to be in such beautiful order. But, he was not happy today, not happy from quite a few days actually. With a cup of hot coffee in his hand and a cigarette in the other, he went into the flashback mode. He was married for the last four years - and happily for the last three years ten months. Was it a love marriage? It did not really matter, all that mattered was there was love in marriage. He and his wife went to the same college. But, they had not talked much to each other, other than the usual "Hai" and "Bye". It was during their final year project that he got to know her. She was no stunner, no supremely talented. But, there was something likeable about her - she was exactly the kind of person who would appeal more with time. By next year, they were married to ea...

I am thinking... why 10.00 PM-10.00 AM appears such a short time compared to 10.00 AM-10.00 PM I said... Crap! (I should stop this, seriously) I want... a cup of good coffee now. I wish... I had more patience. I miss... Mysore. I hear... the familiar sound of typing a keyboard. I wonder... as to why the world is so chaotic. I regret... that I have too many regrets. I am... an almost complete stranger to myself. I dance... when I get the right partner to dance ;) I sing... generally when I am alone. I cry... Have not cried in years (Cant even remember when I cried last!) I am not... What I thought of myself 2 years ago! I write... for the sheer joy of writing. I confuse... others and myself. I need... Music for my survival. I should... Be more patient. I finish... Writing this within 5 mins. I tag anybody who comes across this and finds it interesting!

"They now have boards all around this place" "Look at this Mantapa-like structure...it was not there when we were here right?" "They now have the reception in the entrance lobby" "Sad. Guys can no longer sit and chat on the katte " "I still remember my first day here. I had come to pay the fees" "I had met you at the same place. I had asked you where 'B' section was" "Oh is it? I dont remember that" "Computer labs have not changed." "Hey, this was my cobol lab. Uff, how I used to get tense before those lab exams" "'V' madam is still here. She is a senior lecturer now" "Yeah, she was beautiful" "Is that BCJ?" "I think so, he used to take physics, right?" "They have mesh all around the PS block" "Even the place where we used to sit is blocked" "Remember this cycle stand?" "Of course, here is where we had taken...

Last friday evening... 9.30 PM : Still in office, attending a client conf call 10.30 PM : Call ends...got into a citi taxi...heading towards majestic 11.10 PM : Got into the 'Airavata' bus at the bus stand 1.30 AM : Reached Mysore...passing in front of the beautiful Mysore Palace...I take a look at the Chamundi hills even in that semi-sleeping state 1.50 AM : Having dinner at home (or is it saturday breakfast?) I just get this thought - that had there been no call, I would have been home on friday night itself, rather than on saturday early morning... This friday evening... 6.15 PM : No client conf call today...good! I can reach home on friday night itself :) 8.25 PM : Can you believe it? I miraculously reach majestic, the bus taking a painful 40 mins from Corporation to Majestic (The irony of physics being, even 5 kmph is considered the 'speed' of the bus!) 9.30 PM : No signs of any bus at the Mysore platform (The guys behind the counter, as usual, give no details abou...

Have you observed, that in almost all the Andhra-style restaurants, they would have placed the plantain leaves on all the tables. If you happen to order anything other than meals, they would remove the leaves and get the plates. Dont you think this is highly inefficient? They can have the plantain leaves only for those people who happen to order for meals, after taking the order. Why is such a highly infficient method so widely used? Please enlighten me if you know the answer.