Skip to main content

An afternoon at Wendys

Its one of those afternoons when I had gone out to eat. I was at Wendys. Its kind of ‘okay’ place – not as good as Subway and Burger King, but far far better than McDonalds. There is a pretty long queue. As I wait for my turn, I take a look at the wall displaying the different varieties of non-veg burgers, that I will never be trying. I reach towards the counter and I suddenly see this lady.

Our eyes meet for a moment and both of us have this “oh-no-not-this-person-again” expression on our faces. You cant figure out how old she is - she could be a teenager, a middle aged woman or an old lady. She looks like an alien who has missed her spaceship and failed to adjust to this strange planet. If you don’t believe in mutation, you have definitely not seen her!

I reach the counter, a little bit uncomfortable, knowing what exactly would happen in the next couple minutes.
“Hello, what would you like to have sir?”
“Hai, I’ll have a veggie burger, without meat”. Quite redundant information – ‘veggie burger’ and ‘without meat’, you might say!
“A wha’?”. She goes blank, as if I talked to her in Sanskrit.
“A veggie burger, you know, just the bread and vegetables in that, no meat”, I try to manage a smile.
“We don’t have a veggie burger”, she still seems to be wondering what kind of a person she was talking to.
“Umm, well, umm”, I feel totally embarrassed, not knowing how to explain her. Am I supposed to say ‘Give me a chicken burger without chicken’ ;)
Suddenly, she seemed to remember the burger they had prepared for me the last time.
“So, what do you want, just the bread?”
‘Yes, give me half a pound. Parcel!’, I said to myself. “Yes, the bread, and the vegetables”
“Tomato?”
“Yes”
“Onions?
“Yes”
“Pickles?”
“Yes”
“Cheese?”
“Yes”
“Thats it?”
“Yes, thank you”. What more could I ask for?
“Heres your bill sir, $3.20”, she gave me the bill. “Marie, a burger with just tomato, onions, cheese, pickles…no garlic”
I thought of telling her that garlic is not non-veg, but kept quiet.

As I waited for my burger, I started memorizing what I need to order the next time – “Gimme a burger with cheese, tomato, onions, pickles, and no meat…”

Comments

Venu said…
This was much easier.. I was in "jinan" (plz lookup this place in google). I think I was the first indian face they saw over there.. I was there for 1.5 months and I tried atleast 10-15 times to explain a veg burger...finally had to settle down to frech fries and corn :-(
Raghavendra D R said…
“Marie, a burger with just tomato, onions, cheese, pickles…no garlic”

I am amused as to how she came to the "no garlic" conclusion...
yavdho maTali oota maadirbeku Indiage bandhaga. :D
Vedu Joshi said…
hehe nangu hange agittappa.....
But i think we had a deal with "A Vegetarian burger without meat, without egg"
Anonymous said…
This is amazing stuff!-krupa

Popular posts from this blog

ಹೀಗೊಂದು ಹಾರರ್ ಕಥೆ

ಅದೊಂದು ಊರಾಚೆ ಇರೋ ಸ್ಮಶಾನ. ನಿರ್ಜನ ಪ್ರದೇಶದಲ್ಲಿ ಇದ್ದುದರಿಂದಲೋ ಏನೋ ಅದರ ಬಳಿ ಯಾರೂ ಸುಳಿದಾಡುತ್ತಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ. ಅದರ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ಇದ್ದ ಕಟ್ಟುಕತೆಗಳೂ ಏನೂ ಕಮ್ಮಿ ಇರಲಿಲ್ಲ. ಅಮಾವಾಸ್ಯೆಯ ರಾತ್ರಿ ಅದರ ಬಳಿ ಹಾದುಹೋದವರು ಒಂದು ವಾರದೊಳಗೆ ರಕ್ತ ಕಾರಿಕೊಂಡು ಸಾಯ್ತಾರಂತೆ, ಅಲ್ಲಿನ ಹುಣಸೆಮರಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ಹುಣಸೆಹಣ್ಣು ಬಿಡೋದು ನಿಂತು ವರ್ಷಗಳೇ ಆಗಿದೆಯಂತೆ ಹೀಗೆ...ಅದು ನಿಜವೋ ಸುಳ್ಳೋ ಅಂತ ಪರೀಕ್ಷಿಸೋ ಧೈರ್ಯ ಯಾರಿಗಿದ್ದೀತು? ಪಾಪ ಆ ಸ್ಮಶಾನಕ್ಕಾದರೂ ಅಷ್ಟೇ, ಆ ಊರಲ್ಲಿ ಸತ್ತವರನ್ನು ಹೂಳಲು ತಂದಾಗ ಮಾತ್ರ ಜನರ ದರ್ಶನದ ಭಾಗ್ಯ! ಅವನು ಹುಟ್ಟಾ ಹುಂಬ. "ನಿನ್ ಕೈಲಿ ಆಗಲ್ಲ ಬಿಡು" ಅಂತ ಅವನ ಗೆಳೆಯರು ಹೇಳಿದ್ದಕ್ಕೋ ಏನೋ ಅವನ ತಲೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಆ ಆಲೋಚನೆ ಹೊಕ್ಕಿಬಿಟ್ಟಿತ್ತು. ಚಿಕ್ಕ ವಯಸ್ಸು ಬೇರೆ, ಬಿಸಿ ರಕ್ತ. ಏನಾದರಾಗಲೀ ನೋಡೇಬಿಡೋಣ ಅಂತ ನಿರ್ಧರಿಸಿ ಆ ರಾತ್ರಿ ಒಬ್ಬನೇ ಸ್ಮಶಾನಕ್ಕೆ ಹೋಗುವುದೆಂದು ನಿರ್ಧರಿಸಿಬಿಟ್ಟಿದ್ದ. ಆಸೆಗಿಂತ ಭಯ ದೊಡ್ಡದು, ಅದಕ್ಕಿಂತ ದೊಡ್ಡದು ಕೆಟ್ಟ ಕುತೂಹಲ. ನೆತ್ತಿಯ ಮೇಲಿನ ಸೂರ್ಯನನ್ನು ನೋಡಿ, ಇವನು ಮುಳುಗಲು ಇನ್ನೂ ಎಷ್ಟು ಹೊತ್ತು ಅಂತ ಚಡಪಡಿಸತೊಡಗಿದ. ಮಧ್ಯರಾತ್ರಿಯ ಸಮಯ. ಯಾರಿಗೂ ಸುಳಿವು ಕೊಡದೆ ಸ್ಮಶಾನದೆಡೆಗೆ ಹೊರಟವನ ಎದೆಯಲ್ಲಿದ್ದಿದ್ದು ಬರೀ ಹುಮ್ಮಸ್ಸು. ಕೊಂಚವೂ ಭಯವಿಲ್ಲದ ಈ ಸ್ಥಿತಿ ಅಸಹಜವಾ ಅಂತ ತನಗೆ ತಾನೇ ಕೇಳಿಕೊಂಡ. ಭಯ ಹುಟ್ಟಿಸೋ ತಾಕತ್ತಿರುವುದು ಭ್ರಮೆಗೆ ಮಾತ್ರ. ಆಗ ಮಾತ್ರ ತಂಗಾ...

The Walk

I always loved taking leisurely walks here. In spite of being a busy street, the sidewalk is wide and well maintained. The street is lined with big, old trees that takes care of the scorching summer. Walking is always therapeutic, it helps me gather my thoughts and calms me down. It took me a while to realize that nowadays I had suddenly started walking briskly at one point in the street. When I wondered why I was doing that, I realized it was because of this old beggar woman. No, she was not annoying or shouting like the organized beggars mafia you encounter nowadays at traffic signals. I can handle them easily. This lady did not annoy the pedestrians or shout loudly to grab attention. This lady was anything but that. The first day I saw her, I took out a few coins out of my wallet, not even bothering to count, and gave it to her. The next time I was in a hurry and I just walked past her pretending to have not seen her. After that, its either one of these two reactions from me, ev...

Kill Bill 2 - Mock Review - Sandalwood ishtyle

The quality of reviews for Kannada films in newspapers is abysmal. They say the same things week after week - doing unfunny puns, saying politically correct things and making sure no new perspective is offered even by accident. Here is my mock review of "Kill Bill 2" using the same 'template'! ಈ ವಾರ ಬಿಡುಗಡೆಯಾಗಿರುವ ಚಿತ್ರ 'ಕಿಲ್ ಬಿಲ್ 2' ಒಂದು ಉತ್ತಮ ಪ್ರಯತ್ನ. ಕಲಾತ್ಮಕ ಅಂಶಗಳನ್ನು ಇಟ್ಟುಕೊಂಡೇ ಒಂದು ಮನರಂಜನಾತ್ಮಕ ಮಾಸ್ ಚಿತ್ರ ಕೊಡಬಹುದೆಂಬುದಕ್ಕೆ ಇದು ಒಳ್ಳೆಯ ಉದಾಹರಣೆ. ನಮ್ಮ ಹಾಲಿವುಡ್ ಯಾವ ಸ್ಯಾಂಡಲ್‌ವುಡ್ ಗೂ ಕಮ್ಮಿ ಎನ್ನುವಷ್ಟು ರಿಚ್ ಆಗಿ ಚಿತ್ರ ಮೂಡಿ ಬಂದಿದೆ, ಇಷ್ಟು ಆದ್ಧೂರಿಯಾಗಿ ಚಿತ್ರ ಬಂದಿರುವುದಕ್ಕೆ ನಿರ್ಮಾಪಕರನ್ನು ಅಭಿನಂದಿಸಲೇ ಬೇಕು. ಕಥೆ ತುಂಬಾ ಸಾಧಾರಣ. ನಾಯಕಿಯನ್ನು ಕೊಲ್ಲಲು ಅವಳ ಗುಂಪಿನವರು ವಿಫಲರಾಗುತ್ತಾರೆ. ಅವರೆಲ್ಲರ ಮೇಲೆ ಆಕೆ ಸೇಡು ತೀರಿಸಿಕೊಳ್ಳುವುದೇ ಕಥೆಯ ತಿರುಳು. ನಿರ್ದೇಶಕ ಟಾರನ್‌ಟೀನೊ ಬಹಳ ಜಾಣ್ಮೆಯಿಂದ ಈ ಸೇಡಿನ ಕಥಾನಕವನ್ನು ಹೆಣೆದಿದ್ದಾರೆ. ಚ್ಯಾಪ್ಟರ್ಸ್ ಮೂಲಕ ನಿರೂಪಿಸುವ ರೀತಿ ನಿಮಗೆ ಶಾಲೆಯ ನೆನೆಪು ತರಿಸದಿದ್ದರೆ ಕೇಳಿ! ಮೊದಲ ದೃಶ್ಯದಿಂದ ಕೊನೆಯವರೆಗೂ ನಿಮ್ಮನ್ನು ಬಿಗಿಯಾಗಿ ಹಿಡಿದಿಟ್ಟುಕೊಳುತ್ತದೆ, ಸಲೀಸಾಗಿ ನೋಡಿಸಿಕೊಂಡು ಹೋಗುತ್ತದೆ. ಇಡೀ ತಂಡದಿಂದ ನಿರ...