It was late evening. He stood there in what was famously known as the smoking zone of the cafetaria. He loved watching the city from the seventh floor of his company - from where even the chaos would look to be in such beautiful order. But, he was not happy today, not happy from quite a few days actually. With a cup of hot coffee in his hand and a cigarette in the other, he went into the flashback mode.

He was married for the last four years - and happily for the last three years ten months. Was it a love marriage? It did not really matter, all that mattered was there was love in marriage. He and his wife went to the same college. But, they had not talked much to each other, other than the usual "Hai" and "Bye". It was during their final year project that he got to know her. She was no stunner, no supremely talented. But, there was something likeable about her - she was exactly the kind of person who would appeal more with time. By next year, they were married to each other.

They seemed a great couple. They were quite different from each other, but they complemented each other very well. They had their share of quarrels (mark of a healthy marriage) but they had great respect for each other.

A new trainee had joined his team just a couple of months back. She was the most attractive girl he had ever seen. To make things worse, she was very interesting - she knew so many things, she was perfect! He became obsessed with her, he could not stop thinking about her. He started comparing her to his wife and he hated himself for doing so. His wife seemed very ordinary now - the benne dosays they had every sunday evening, the serials they watched together everyday seemed very stupid to him. He knew he was being unfair to his wife, but forcefully loving his wife was like being dishonest with himself. He avoided eye contact with his wife and every loving gesture from her made him more miserable.

He was considered a good employee at his work place - he was known to have good analytical and problem solving skills. He smiled sarcastically at that thought. The more he thought about this, the more confused the things seemed. He was aware that it was his attitude that is the root cause of this problem, but he was more certain that he had no solution to it.

The noisy alert for the SMS brought him out of his imagination. It was from his wife.
"Missing you. Come home soon :)"

This story or whatever has no resemblance to me or to anyone else. This story is the outcome of something very different that has the same undercurrents as this story.


I am thinking...
why 10.00 PM-10.00 AM appears such a short time compared to 10.00 AM-10.00 PM

I said...
Crap! (I should stop this, seriously)

I want...
a cup of good coffee now.

I wish...
I had more patience.

I miss...

I hear...
the familiar sound of typing a keyboard.

I wonder...
as to why the world is so chaotic.

I regret...
that I have too many regrets.

I am...
an almost complete stranger to myself.

I dance...
when I get the right partner to dance ;)

I sing...
generally when I am alone.

I cry...
Have not cried in years (Cant even remember when I cried last!)

I am not...
What I thought of myself 2 years ago!

I write...
for the sheer joy of writing.

I confuse...
others and myself.

I need...
Music for my survival.

I should...
Be more patient.

I finish...
Writing this within 5 mins.

I tag anybody who comes across this and finds it interesting!


"They now have boards all around this place"
"Look at this Mantapa-like was not there when we were here right?"

"They now have the reception in the entrance lobby"
"Sad. Guys can no longer sit and chat on the katte"

"I still remember my first day here. I had come to pay the fees"
"I had met you at the same place. I had asked you where 'B' section was"
"Oh is it? I dont remember that"

"Computer labs have not changed."
"Hey, this was my cobol lab. Uff, how I used to get tense before those lab exams"

"'V' madam is still here. She is a senior lecturer now"
"Yeah, she was beautiful"

"Is that BCJ?"
"I think so, he used to take physics, right?"

"They have mesh all around the PS block"
"Even the place where we used to sit is blocked"

"Remember this cycle stand?"
"Of course, here is where we had taken HL's photo ;)"

"PS block. Whats the first thing that comes to your mind?"
"Definitely MM. She had sung 'Raat Shabnami' in Jayciana. Do you remember when we had seen her first?"
"Not sure. Was it near the stairs?"
"No. Dont you remember? We were in the drawing class. She was sitting outside on a bench. Maroon color dress. Aah!"

"Cycle stand seems very organized now."
"Yeah, it has lost its charm"

"Given a choice to live your college life again, would you live it the same way?"
"Yes, mostly the same way. May be I would read better for the exams. You?"
"Hmm, I would live it very differently. I feel I was so stupid then."

"I think its getting late. Shall we move?"
"Yeah. Oh crap, I should have got my camera"

I had been to my college today with my friend Bata. Still feeling a bit nostalgic and reflective, I have randomly compiled some conversations that we had.

I am angry...

Last friday evening...
9.30 PM : Still in office, attending a client conf call
10.30 PM : Call into a citi taxi...heading towards majestic
11.10 PM : Got into the 'Airavata' bus at the bus stand
1.30 AM : Reached Mysore...passing in front of the beautiful Mysore Palace...I take a look at the Chamundi hills even in that semi-sleeping state
1.50 AM : Having dinner at home (or is it saturday breakfast?)
I just get this thought - that had there been no call, I would have been home on friday night itself, rather than on saturday early morning...

This friday evening...
6.15 PM : No client conf call today...good! I can reach home on friday night itself :)
8.25 PM : Can you believe it? I miraculously reach majestic, the bus taking a painful 40 mins from Corporation to Majestic (The irony of physics being, even 5 kmph is considered the 'speed' of the bus!)
9.30 PM : No signs of any bus at the Mysore platform (The guys behind the counter, as usual, give no details about the bus) A 'Mysooru Mallige' comes along. No! I dont want to go in that zero-leg-space, sleep-unfriendly bus. I stay in the platform. Still no signs of a deluxe/volvo bus. I see 2-3 deluxe buses for smaller places like Sirsi and Kumta. Whats wrong with Mysore? My restlessness is slowly turning into anger. I switch on the ipod to divert my frustrated mind. I finish listening to the entire Buddha Bar 1 collection (starting with my current favorite - Sida Vodjani's "Straight to the heart")
10.30 PM : A 'Mayura' bus is in the platform, when I was almost on the verge of a nervous breakdown. The bus takes another 35 mins to depart.
11.05 PM : A couple of spanish songs later, I am asleep.
1.35 AM : Reached Mysore, proceeding to the pre-paid auto stand. Some old man is quarreling that the rate decided by the pre-paid stand is wrong. Some more minutes wasted. Finally I get into an old auto (must have been from an era when people used basic for programming) The auto driver unusually takes a relatively longer route to my home (and of course, the gas gets over midway and he changes it there!)
2.00 AM : Reached home! I feel clueless and stupid.

I am still angry. Why is the world where I live so chaotic? Why is it that I have to spend so much of my energy on unwanted things? Or have I become so impatient and intolerant?

Any Idea?

Have you observed, that in almost all the Andhra-style restaurants, they would have placed the plantain leaves on all the tables. If you happen to order anything other than meals, they would remove the leaves and get the plates. Dont you think this is highly inefficient? They can have the plantain leaves only for those people who happen to order for meals, after taking the order.

Why is such a highly infficient method so widely used? Please enlighten me if you know the answer.

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