Terrorist (to his wife): Honey, I am going out for lunch with a few friends.
Wife: Okay fine. So you dont need your "tiffin box" today?


Terrorist in Delhi (TiD) calls his friend Terrorist in Chennai (TiC)
TiD: Hows you dude? How was the weekend?
TiC: Pretty boring machcha. Did nothing. Stayed home all day. How was your weekend?
TiD: Awesome. We had a blast!

In Bangalore Mirror

One of my blog posts has been featured in today's edition of Bangalore Mirror.

Birthday Parties

The biggest change in the transition from your mid-twenties to the wrong side of twenties is the exponential increase in the invitations to kids' birthday parties. If you were born during the seventies-eighties like me, I can bet most of you would not have celebrated your birthdays as a kid. Celebration, as it is known today.

When I was a kid, mom would make bisi bele bath, curd rice, some sweet and invite a few relatives over to breakfast or dinner. "Mane maTTige" was the mantra then. The old people would bless me with vidya, buddhi, ayassu, arogya, aishwarya - all combined together did not make much difference to my happiness as lets say a Lacto King candy did then. The not-so-old ones would gift a pen set - an ink and a dot pen - with a clearer instruction - "You should study well and get good marks". Go to school, the class teacher would announce that you were the birthday kid. Yes, we could wear "color dress" when mere mortals suffered in their hapless uniforms. The class would quickly sing a "Happy Birthday" with the hope that you would have got some candies for them (small candies mind you, not a chocolate bar!) in that bag overloaded with books. Best friends were privileged to get two candies. End of party, birthday over! Back to homework in the evening.

Twenty years is a long time, I tell you. Now, celebration has to be in a party hall! Make the poor helpless kids wear conical birthday hats (or is it comical birthday hats?). The birthday cake is generously sprinkled with the bits of shiny paper from inside the bursting balloons. Photos, videos et al. As far as I know, this will not stop after the kid's first birthday party. You see parents celebrating their kids' 2nd, 3rd, 4th birthday in *.Sagar party hall. I am a lil curious here, when would they stop celebrating a kid's birthday at a party hall? 5th birthday? 10? 20? I dont know, young parents should tell me!

Lets say you decide to stop after age 5, you have no idea how depressing it could be for the child. The kid will start wondering why their parents stopped celebrating his birthday from this year, if they dont love him anymore etc. etc. Imagine your kid in class two. His friends would come up to him and ask - "Hey, how come you have not uploaded your birthday videos to YouTube yet? Internet down still?". Believe me, even the strongest kid will find it mightly traumatic to answer a question like that.

In order to make sure the kid wont feel that way, you will never stop celebrating. I can clearly visualize a 2030 bidaai scene where the father would tell his son in law - "Please take good care of my daughter. She is the apple of our eyes, orange of our noses etc. etc. And we have been celebrating her birthday from the last 24 years, dont ever miss celebrating her birthday every year in New Shanti Sagar." [Note: New Shanti Sagar was opened in 1998]

Go a little further in time. Circa 2050. A conversation will sound like this - "Do you know any good party halls in town? We are trying to book one for our grand mother's birthday. We are not finding any. She will be heart broken if we dont find one in time".

New Shanti Sagar will come up with a Lifetime Party Hall Membership Card for birthday celebrations (People born on Feb 29th can avail 70% discount, please hurry!) You might get a call from an unknown number during a very busy project meeting, you pick the call and the caller would say - "Hello sir, we are calling from New Shanti Sagar, we are offering you a Lifetime Gold Party Hall Membership Card. No activation charges, sir. Not interested? Okay sir, thank you, sir. Have a good day".

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