What's in a name?

It took me a few minutes less today to complete SuDoKu, Kakuro and other puzzles in Bangalore Times. I still had another 10 mins to reach office. What to do? Read Bangalore Times, of course! We all know its a crappy paper, but we all read it (like the old people who crib and watch mega serials and soap operas!)

I expected to read some crappy article like - green is the 'in-color' this season or why pubs should be opened even after 11 or Mahima loves her dog more than her mom or why women are preferring metrosexual male to the ubersexual male or something like that. But, I was disappointed. Today's topic was about Bangalore being renamed to Bengalooru!

One college student was of the opinion that "ooru" would be like village name. Kid, the word for village is haLLi, if you care to know.
Some businessman suggested that government should concentrate on improving infrastructure than on these "silly" things. Mate, its as ridiculous as saying that you stop going to petrol bunk till you find a medicine to cure your hair loss. Why are you mixing two unrelated things?

The thing that irritates me most is that all these intelligentia did not have any problems when Bombay was renamed as Mumbai or Calcutta was renamed as Kolkota or Baroda as Vadodara. When it comes to Bangalore (or Bengalooru), the logic changes.
Many of these 'Bangaloreans' would have a flair for learning foreign languages and would say bonjour (pronounced as bawn-zhoor) more authentically than a Rousseau or an Edouard. No problems for the tongue there, monsieur!
The whole nation has no problem pronouncing Buddhodebo Bhattochorya as correctly as a Mukherji or a Chatterji would do, but pronouncing Bengalooru is as difficult as pneumono­ultra­micro­scopic­silico­volcano­coniosis!
Don't you find pronouncing pizza (as Peed-zah) very difficult? Did Italians never feel that the world would stop eating pizzas just because they are not to easy to pronounce?

Well, the simple fact is that India is very crucial to the global business today and Bangalore is a big brand. And if any company decides to lose millions of dollars just because they find it difficult to pronounce "Bengalooru", they are stupid. They better get an Indian diction teacher for a few hundred dollars!

If you are thinking that I am a regionist (Yes, I coined that word!) you are absolutely wrong. I am proud of my language and state, but I am no fanatic. I have as much contempt for "Bangalore-is-full-go-home" type Kannadigas as I have for "Bangalore-sucks-cribbing" type non-Kannadigas. My opinion is just that most of the Indian city names that the British had changed long long ago don't convey anything about those places. (Like Mysore sounds like some description about a wound) I welcome any change in name that has got meaning (be it Mumbai, Chennai, Kolkota or Bengalooru)

And if anyone quotes Shakespeare "Whats in a name?", tell them that the Bard would not have liked if he was called "Shake sphere" just because it is easier that way!

He is on 49. The innings has been long. He is no specialist, but importantly he has managed to hung in there. Oh, he seizes the opportunity and scampers for a quick single...and thats 50!

No, I am not giving some cricket commentary. Its about my blog! And this is my 50th post :)

If somebody had told me an year back that I would be blogging, I would have told "You must be joking". Well, life has its own weird way of proving you wrong! And here I am writing this post when the entire country is busy bursting crackers.

The English classes in my PU days were mainly of two types - one is somehow escaping from getting caught by the teacher (My PU friends, remember A Meera?) and second is getting thrown out of the classroom. The reason? I hated writing on anything we were assigned. I always thought that writing was not my medium of expression and speech was far more effective in conveying what I wanted to.

But, my visit to Salt Lake City late last year forced me to open my blog. I had a lot to tell and I had no one to talk to. Blogging came to my rescue and I discovered that writing after all was not as difficult as I had assumed. I was pleasantly surprised when people started reading and appreciating my blog.

I still get astonished when I receive hopelessly nice compliments, much much more than what I actually deserve (Sorry, its my honest opinion and I am not trying to sound humble to get more comments ;)) I have got a fair share of honest and very useful criticism (which I really appreciate, so keep them coming!) Google Analytics says that my blog gets around 10-20 visitors every day. The only sad thing is that I don't know who they are! So, if you are one of those who never leave a comment, leave a comment once in a while at least.

The once-reluctant traveler with no destination has decided to continue the journey. The next curve may lead to a complicated crossroad or a dead end. I don't know. But, the actual fun is in the journey itself. Hope to bump into you on the way!

The last week was pretty hectic. We had our company's anniversary day and it was communicated to us just a week back. I was not even given a chance to say no for my performance. My work as such was pretty hectic. I was not getting any ideas. "about:blank"! I tried to do a sequel skit to the last year's "Munnabhai J2EE". It did not excite me at all. I could do a great spoof on Pulp Fiction. Nah, many people would not have heard about the movie, let alone appreciate the spoof. Finally, I started writing a skit about software companies taking underworld projects like supari killings and extortion. It came out okay on paper, it was kind of satirical comedy. A better actor would have pulled it off beautifully, but I was not at all confident.

I was running out of ideas, and more importantly I was running out of time. I was feeling pathetic. I love this phase, because most of the times, it is this phase that gives you different ideas. Just 3 days left, one of my friends suggested to use the concept of multiple personality disorder. Wow! Thats what I was looking for, I guess! It was about an employee suffering from multiple personality disorder - what better way to mimic all your colleagues :D

Finally, I wrote the script within an hour. And I included one of my colleagues for one of the roles. We could practice just for 2 days. I was on the verge of insanity as I walked like one person, smiled like another and thought like yet another for 2 full days. Thank God, I did not get more time for practice!

The show went on pretty okay. But, I looked at the video and felt really bad about my performance. My body language was not at all good and I had screwed up the voice imitation also (Sad, I could have done it so well!) But, in the end, I was pretty happy that I no longer had to walk, talk, act like my colleagues.

Now, I am blissfully imitating Robert de Niro, Al Pacino and Samuel L Jackson from the last 2 days. After a long time, I am feeling great!

Unwanted analysis!

I had been to Chamundi hills this saturday with my brother. We both love to observe people and do unwanted analysis and build imaginary theories or stories around that.

We stopped to take some rest near the 600-mark. A group of middle aged pot bellied uncles were arguing about who would reach the hill top if they started running now and some intense discussion about chicken curries. It got boring after a while and our attention turned towards two vehicles parked nearby. One was a scooty KA-09 EE-33 something. Other was a Kinetic Nova KA-09 EE-38 something.

We started doing our analysis with the minimal details that we had. The analysis made below are highly prone to inaccuracies, due to the lack of details.

  • Since the vehicles are scooty and nova, they must be the vehicles of two girls.
  • Since scooty looks like an older registration, it must be of one of the friends - who must be confident among the two.
  • The second girl had no intention of buying a vehicle. But, her friend would have convinced her that she also needs a vehicle and her father might have also persuaded her into buying a vehicle.
  • Now, the second girl also wanted to buy scooty, but decided against it, as it would look like she is copying the first girl.
  • Also, the first girl would have suggested that a bigger vehicle like nova suits her better (what a nice and polite way of saying she's fat!)

We had enough of this analysis and start climbing. We forgot about those vehicles and our discussion turned towards music and irritating, repititive mail forwards. (Have you observed, that people who send irritating forwards are also the ones who mail very regularly! :D) Now, we reach K900 and settle down. A little away from us are sitting a guy, a girl wearing black planet X shirt and a short-haired girl wearing white shirt.
Now, for ease of typing, let me call them The Guy, Miss Black and Miss White. (There is no racial intent in this naming convention. Its a bit Tarantino-ish and saves some keystrokes)
Here are the facts:
  • The guy is on one of the sides.
  • Miss Black is next to him.
  • Miss White is next to Miss Black.
  • The distance between Miss White and Miss Black is almost twice the distance between The guy and Miss Black. (Almost looks like there are two entities, The guy-Miss Black combo and Miss White)

Now, the possibilites and the analysis.
  • From the final fact, the possibility that the guy and Miss White are a couple is zilch.
  • They all could be just friends and may be all this analysis is totally meaningless. But, such an assumption kills all the fun. So, let us ignore that ;)
  • Miss Black has the most irritating and shrill voice I have ever heard. On top of that, she tries to act cute and bubbly (Blame it on the Johars and Chopras!) And Miss White is actually quite beautiful and dignified. Any sane guy cannot be in love with Miss Black when there is a Miss White. But hey, we all know, most guys have terrible taste. So, the possibility of the guy in love with Miss Black cannot be ruled out!
  • With that assumption, how does Miss White fit into this whole thing? Could she be the guy's sister or cousin or friend? No way, no guy would bring along another person with him. She must be Miss Black's friend (Miss Black would have asked her to accompany her for security reasons and general advices!)
  • Miss Black bringing her friend means she is still in the "is-her-or-is-he-not" phase of her relationship with the guy.

Now, we started coming down the hill. We discuss a lot on the correctness of our theory. I wished to see the guy and Miss Black go in the same vehicle, which would have proved that my theory was right (because he would drop her at her home, which would mean that her parents know and they are okay!) But, the guy leaves on his bike and the girls leave in another vehicle. Miss Black and the guy may be just friends or in the alpha phase of their relationship. But, they are definitely not in the post-beta phase, I deduce finally.

With a feeling of accomplishment and a sense of victory even in defeat, I wonder why its the most stupid and unwanted things that brings us great joy.

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