Remember the baddies in movies of yesteryear who would tie up the old rich man and threaten him of dire consequences if he did not offer that "one signature" so that they can get the possession of his bungalow, car, factories, properties, his undergarments etc? How simple were those times! Nowadays even for a simple home loan, the bank guys insist you to sign in at least fifty places. No wonder the recent movies have no baddies who ask for that "one signature". I am sometimes happy that such naivety in Indian movies is gone. But, I sometimes miss the stupid charm of such scenes!

***

Another major improvement in Indian cinema is the disappearance of the "poor hero". I dont think there is any other country which glorified and celebrated poverty as much as we did. In the old movies, the poor guy is a honest 'paapa' person. And rich guy is evil. Almost always. The reality is, a poor guy need not always be the one who was cheated by the evil guy. He could a person who is lazy, or one who blows off all that he earns on gambling and drinking. A rich guy need not always be the one who exploits the poor, he could be one who earned money by working hard and being smart. Alwa? The common dialogue in the old movies are "I have no dhana, but I have guna". The sheer contempt they exhibit towards dhana is so meaningless. Just like that forward which said - "Money can buy you mattress, but not sleep". What they forget is that comfortable mattress and sleep are not mutually exclusive. If you are cursed with sleeplessness, dont you think its better to suffer lying on a comfortable mattress? This chee-cheeing of money has gone of late. Thankfully!

***

Indian movies have become "bigger and bolder" over the years. Read it as more budget and less costume. But, the interesting thing is that even now, all the lovemaking scenes are accompanied by songs or background music. Not sure if censors object to moaning in Indian cinema. Well, I think I am having high expectations. We are yet to have a comfortable kissing scene in Indian cinema and I am asking for much more. Remember the Vidya Balan - Madhavan kiss from "Guru"? Thinking of it always makes me laugh. You could easily finish a Tower of Hanoi puzzle with 6 discs by the time they searched for each others' lips. I think Madhavan might have felt that Vidya Balan's big nose was too much of an obstacle :)

***

I dont know if you have been in such an argument, but I always have the knack of finding that Some Other Person (SOP) for such an argument.
SOP: I dont like Dr. Rajkumar. He is not a nice person.
Me: Why do you say that?
SOP: Because he has done nothing for the people.
Me: Means?
SOP: Look at Rajnikanth, he gifts autos to his fans. Chiranjeevi also gives a lot to his fans. What has Rajkumar done to his fans?
Me: Why should he?
SOP: (with a perplexed look) What do you mean why? He is what he is because of the love of the people. He should do something for the people.
Me: You got it all wrong. The thing is he is an actor, thats his profession. People like his acting, they see his movies, he is popular. Thats it. People pay up to see what they like. Would you expect a very famous money-making blogger to donate something to his readers because he is what he is due to his readers? Ridiculous! So, if someone has made lots of money, its up to him how he wants to use it. If he wants to do some charity, thats fine. If he wants to spend it himself, that should be fine too. Nobody has a right to tell someone what he has to do with his money.

I have not got a proper response from any of the SOPs. If you are one of those SOPs, let me know what you think.

IPL - Fun Unlimited

Ravi Shastri is a great commentator, or so he thinks. Its not too surprising when someone is in the company of Sanjay Manjrekar, Arun Lal and the likes. And lets not forget, he was the inventor of that historic phrase - "The last thing the team needs at this stage is a run out". As if there would be some stage when "run out" will move up in the "necessary" list. Well, anyways!

Thank heavens, his statements are not as ridiculous as Arun Lal who would say - "Rameez, I reckon when the required run rate keeps shooting up like this, the batsmen have to get the boundaries".

But, Shastri provided ample entertainment last night at the IPL finals presentation ceremony.
"Ladies and gentlemen, on stage we have Sharad Pawar, president of Board of Control for Cricket in India, Lalit Modi - Chairman and Commissioner of IPL,......., Sharad Pawar - president of Board of Control for Cricket in India"
With so much (repeated)attention showered, no wonder Pawar was a happy man!

Shastri to Yusuf Pathan: "You scripted a fabulous win! Were your nerves jangling when you went out to bat?"
Yusuf Pathan: "Hh Hh Hh"
Yusuf Pathan took almost two minutes before he said a comprehensible word. He looked like a mixture of Yuvraj Singh facing a Murali doosra and Saurav Ganguly completing a third run.
Yusuf Pathan: "Bowlers ne acche performance diya. Shane-bhai ne accha dekh baal kiya. Hh Hh Hh..."
Shastri was visibly disappointed that Pathan did not pick the "scripting" and "jangling" part of it and promptly switched over to hindi.
Shastri: "Jab aap batting karne ke liye aaye, kya aap nervous thae?"
Yusuf: "Mashallah, main nervous thaa. Par main Watson se baath kartha raha"
Now, if Yusuf could not understand the "scripting" and "jangling" bit of Shastri, funny how he understood the "maete", "baetsman" accent of Watson?

Javed Miandad had a long standing record of the most ridiculous english speaking Pakistani. My favorite of Miandad's has always been - "The team play well. All batsman plays well. And bowlers plays well".
Sohail Tanveer grabbed that record to his kitty along with the purple cap.
Shastri: "Terrific match Sohail. Were your nerves jangling during the final over?"
Sohail shook his head rigorously and mumbled something that was as unplayable as his bowling. What a fitting response to Shastri's overused "jangling" statement!

Last but not the least, while introducing the Chennai Super Kings players when they were out to receive their medals:
"Makhaya Ntini. Terrific athlete. Great performance today. He has added color to this Chennai Super Kings".
Now, did anyone else found that statement unintentionally racist? Or is it just me? :D

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