Giftsoo Giftsu

I am too just-married to get tired of writing stuff related to the wedding. Gone are those days when people were anxious to know what gifts they got. Nowadays its all about hoping that the unwanted gifts dont exceed the storage space at your home. There are 3 broad categories when it comes to gifting 'items':
Innovative types
Only 2% belong to this category. They know your tastes, they know how usable it is to you, they know that the chances of someone else gifting the same item are slim.

Ganesha types
If I were Lord Shiva or Vishnu, I would have cursed the entire humanity for how I am ignored when it comes to gift items.
A typical conversation of a couple goes about like this:
Husband: We have to go to that wedding in the evening.
Wife: What gift shall we buy?
Husband: Some Ganesha gift item of course.
Wife: (smiling) Of course! (What else?)

54% of the people fall under this category. Ganesha has got great range, he comes in all forms - from the most artistic to highly innovative to funny to absolutely ridiculous. My brother has a collection of over 200 Ganeshas - dancing, playing music, sitting, standing, sleeping, programming - you name it, we have it. So every time someone gives a Ganesha, its mostly the one you already have. Or even worse, you get two pieces of the same variety on the same day. I love you Ganesha, but bring on the Ayyappas, Kaalabhairavas and Gajalakshmis please!

Clock types
No occasion is complete without a few unusable clocks being gifted. 54% of the people fall under this category as well. I am seriously planning to have one of living room walls as a "clock wall" and hang all the clocks that we got, each one set to the time zone of a different country.

Those of you who must be wondering why the percentages are not adding up properly, 10% of the people actually gift clocks with Ganesha on them! :D

*****

If you are not the innovative types when it comes to gifts, better stick to giving cash. You will be really appreciated. There are many varieties in the cash givers as well and each one may belong to one of more of these categories:
Anonymous
There will always be a few who do not write their names on the gift covers. Few are definitely the "dont-want-to-be-discovered-of-giving-so-less" type. The rest belong to the very old thinking that even writing their names on the covers amounts to showing off.

Coverless Anonymous
Among the gift covers, you will at least find a note given by someone who just slipped it into your hands while offering a handshake. May be these are the ones who paid an unexpected visit, had no gift cover, at the same time did not wish to go giftless.

The One Rupee
They will never ever give you money without a one rupee coin along with the gift amount. One logic I have heard from them is that "plus one" means continual growth and thats wishing for prosperity. 50, 100, 500, 1000 just dont exist in their worlds. It has to be 51, 101 and so on. The funny thing about this is, may be 50 years ago when one rupee was still a decent gift amount, did these people give two rupees? :D

Documenter
This, at least to me, is a new phenomenon. Of people writing "100/-" in the corner of the cover, near the opening and even sometimes as a heading on the cover. They are exactly opposite to the "Anonymous" types. They want the giftees to know how much they gave. Even if the money accidentally falls off from the cover, they ensure that you know how much they had actually gifted you.

Staple, Gum, Staple-n-Gum
Some staple on the cover, some staple on the cover and the note together. Some use gum to close the covers. And some are so generous in the usage of the gum as well as staples that I have a few notes that I am not able to take off from the cover!

*****

On a completely different note, have you noticed that even in today's times, most of the men hesitate to shake hands with the bride and most women hesitate to shake hands with the groom when they come to wish the couple on the stage?

15 Comments:

  1. RK said...
    i say, vasuki, u r a truly gifted blogger!
    vEENs said...
    ohh GOD!!

    dnt remind me.. hw many times i and my family have gifted stuff like that!!

    :D

    u r too good :))

    and plss... keep on blogging abt the marriage hing.. really funny!!!
    Kadalabal said...
    true people like to carry gifts rapped in their hand and go very few realise it may be one more of the same. so when you dont know their tastes etc., it always better keep giving cash pooled cash be used the way they want. it helps them no body can store so many clocks and ganeshas and remeber you because your gift they remember for your love warmth
    and affection friendship etc., etc., which they enjoy thoroughly so next time you gift think twice before you buy.
    RK said...
    maybe we can have a 'GUESS THE GIFT CONTEST' in the marriage hall, where one has to guess what is there inside the gift box; or how much is inside the aanvolop... and the winner(s) will get a reader's digest book titled 'THE RIGHT GIFT AT THE RIGHT TIME!'
    Viji said...
    Vasu,
    Nice one. One more item to your category of gifts. In our family circles, its known as the 'aiyvaarikichchidra'(etymology follows) category. Its a telugu word compsed of aiyyavaariki + ichchidra (gift it to the brahmin) category. The gifts that fall under this category are 50 Rs/ piece sarees, Road side Shirt and 'pant piece' which nobody could ever dare to wear.
    Origin of this word is from a 'jipuna shetty' story.Once upon a time a budigumbala (ashgourd?) the shetty had put up for sale began to rot. When the angadi huduga asked him whether he could throw it away, the shetty replied 'Aiyvaarikichchidra.. Punyam vastundi'
    Sunil said...
    ;-))
    Sujata Rajpal said...
    Keep all the unwanted gifts in a cupboard and name it ' Give and Take'. Compartmentalize them in categories like 'household stuff', 'Ganesha', 'clothes' etc. whenever it is your chance to give a gift , you will find a piece for every age , every relation, every taste. http://sujatarajpal.blogspot.com/
    Anil P said...
    :)
    Prashanth M said...
    Small world.. your wife is an acquaintance of mine.. just mention mukta-balaga to her :)
    Flatfooter said...
    - Dinner set?
    - Silver lamp (BeLLi deepa)?

    Was there a long line to greet the newlyweds in the 'reception'? That would make you feel so important :)
    Savitha said...
    I had never thought of gifting in a such a way, but so true. I had a heart laugh reading your article, esp. 'documenter' :)
    Vetrimagal said...
    Hilarious and true!

    Another favourite is the ' laughing Budda".

    My son was married sometime back, and the gift that he received are still lying in my house, stored in cupboards. Wonder what to do with them!

    Congratulations on your marriage.
    Anonymous said...
    My God!

    Nice one rather very nice one.

    Nakku nakku hotte hunnaytu. (Office nalli odta idde jorag nagakku aglilla :-(. But madyanhad nidde haari hoytu.)

    Keep writing

    Som
    Bit Hawk said...
    @rk, veens, Som
    Thanks!

    @kadalabal
    Exactly!

    @rk
    How about making the game a lil nasty? If you can guess within 3 attempts, the gifter will be forced to bring an alternate gift :D

    @viji
    Nice story, never heard it! :)

    @sunil, anil p, savitha
    :)

    @sujata rajpal
    I generally dont attend any functions whom I think are worthy of those recycled gifts!

    @prashanth m
    We talked about all of you during our first meet! And I am a regular reader of your blog!!

    @flatfooter
    Dinner set, belli deepa, yes!
    Believe me, long lines dont make you feel important, it can make you collapse on stage!

    @vetrimagal
    I love laughing buddha in general and nobody has gifted that in excess. Thats why may be I am not too harsh on them.
    MoodyGemini said...
    Though a old post,I cant help but commenting on this..

    Excellent piece and the right touch of humour. I can soo understand what you wrote, having a shelf full of clocks with Ganesha and a rack full of Ganesha idols of in the show case.

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