Skip to main content

You've Got Mail

Got this idea when I watched the movie "You've Got Mail". This is not a spoof per se, as that movie was quite good. Its just that I got this weird idea - well, I must say, its my version of "You've Got Mail".

Our heroine is X (as per the biological conventions and it also reduces typing effort) You can call her Kathlene Kelly. Or Pooja Malhotra, Simran Oberoi or Sonia Agarwal - if you are a huge bollywood fan and it suits your sensibilities.

Our hero is Y. Or Joe Fox. Or Raj Singhania, Vikram Chopra or Rahul Saxena or whatever.

X is a typical fun loving girl, taking life as it comes and living every moment (whatever that means!). She likes to tell that she loves travelling (to prove that she is passionate and fun loving) and her favorite book is "The Alchemist" just because it is one of those over-hyped books and gives you an "intellectual" image. She is considered beautiful because of her ability to carefully choose far far uglier girls as her friends!

Y is not your typical hero. If you have named him as Raj or Rahul, think again. It just does not suit him! He is the kind of guy who sees the whole world in 0 and 1. A computer geek. Networking genius. He is considered to have very poor social skills, while the fact is that people are reluctant to approach him. Thats expected when someone knows everything about IEEE 802.11 at a time when his peers are struggling to learn the formula for methane!

X and Y finish their PU and join the same engineering college. Y falls in love with X (thanks to her bad-looking friends). But, X hates Y, she thinks he is a bookworm, arrogant and boring. After a few unimportant scenes (or item numbers/songs if you are from Bollywood), X gets a dial-up connection at her home. After checking her mails and sending a few e-greetings to aquaintances (oh yes, having teddies, roses and a loud song too!),she enters the chat room!

She logs in as "brownie_chubby" (For those of you who are interested in the logic behind that id, brownie is her dog's name and chubby is her pet name) She sees a peculiar name called "lan80211". Whats this 80211? Well, it must be that he was born in 1980, on Feb 11. Wow, Aquarius! (The stupid girl has no idea about 802.11 and it happens to be our Y!)

They chat for a few days and become friends (or friends?) One day, they decide to meet at some place. She takes less than just a couple of hours to get dressed and reaches the meeting place. She is shocked to see Y standing there! Y, all the way knew that it was X (he had done some research on knowing her dog's name and pet name!)

X is convinced that the person who she was chatting with cannot be Y. She suspects that he hacked into that id. Whatever technical explanations that Y gives makes her suspect him even more. Y has no ways to prove that he is actually that person.

Not every love story has a happy ending. More so in the virtual world!

Comments

Raghavendra D R said…
Hey...really good story kano. I liked it! :)
(It is quite different from You've got Mail..if you ask me..hehe)
Anonymous said…
It's funny.... and you are so weird!
And by the way...why so much sarcasm on the heroine..and why that yucky defensive love for the nerdy hero?
So..what if the heroine didnt know what IEEE stands for.She had social skills;she could talk...and make friends(ugly or otherwise)
Who wants to go out with a guy who talks about nothing but exception handling?
I have a feeling that X using her feminine tact...simply refused to believe that Y was "the" guy..becoz frankly...One wants a caring loving person for a partner..not a mathematical machine.
Morever...I really dont think Y was smart..if he were he wouldnt have fallen for X!
The story is hilarious though and the flow very natural.
-krupa
Vijay said…
I loved the "X is a typical fun loving girl, taking life as it comes and living every moment (whatever that means!)" part of your story more than anything else......
degzzz said…
well ! alchemist - bingo! Even with repeated concentrated efforts also I coudnt get past 20 pages as it simply stopped making sense to me. I thought it must have been my limited right half of the brain (or whichever half)
Anonymous said…
Check it ou homes claims on masonite siding
Unknown said…
With so much of a background build up, the story ended up very abruptly!!
And hey... not all girls like Alchemist... some haven't read it at all :D

Popular posts from this blog

What Exactly Bothered You?

I am amazed by the display of naivete by people, their naivete so deeply conditioned that it ceases to be artificial. These people are very well aware of the reality, but when you show them some proof to confirm that, they are aghast and shocked. What the hell am I ranting about? I am talking about "The curious case of N D Tiwari"! To be honest, when I heard about it, I laughed out loud. Not because there was something funny in his achievements, but the way people reacted to it. So I am trying to understand what exactly bothered them? A Governor was doing 'it' ? ('It' upsets more people than lets say, if he was taking a bribe of crores of rupees from those 3 women) A Governor was doing 'it'? (Come on seriously, are we not taught in schools that politicians work for people and poverty is dropping like Walmart prices?) A Governor was caught doing it? (What is revealed is always only the tip of the iceberg. Just imagine the uncaught! Is it the "env...

Ringtones

Why is it that most people don't keep their mobiles in silent mode, in general and particularly in meetings, movie halls, theaters and concerts? Why is it that people who hate silent mode, don't ever use "Increasing ring" feature? Why do such people use very loud ring tones? Why is it that most people use a very common ring tone and it takes them eternity to pick calls? (Yes, they don't even realize that its their mobile that is ringing!) Why is it that people with the most irritating ring tones are the ones who get calls very regularly? Why is it that most of the ring tones are monotonic? (Don't you think polyphonic ring tones are so less irritating on the ears?) Why is it that people so frequently use the default Nokia monotonic ring tone or a badly played version of Malgudi Days? Why have I never heard a nice polyphonic ring tone of Hotel California or Pulp Fiction theme or something? Why?

Limitations Of Human Imagination

I watched the movie "The Abyss" yesterday. Unadulterated hollywood alien-sci-fi garbage. Pseudo-emotions mixed with american-arrogance, so much crap that it would have given Karan Johar some serious inferiority complex. But, this made me think why so many alien stories are so similar. Lets come to the assumptions in the alien movies: 1) Aliens always love to make contact with the humans (If I were an alien, I would try to make contact with crocodiles - much more interesting, right?) 2) Aliens are generally much more intelligent than humans (Its hard to beat the dumbness of humans - probably aliens don't watch Big Boss! Also, since 'they' contact us by reaching 'our' planet, they must be better than us!) 3) Aliens by default understand or learn English (by intercepting the cerebral signals and interpreting with the aural waves and decoding to hexadecimal system - you will be given some such nonsense by the story writers) If you tell the aliens "howdy...