Cricketing Excuses

No matter how strongly you love something, there are some aspects about it that will irritate you. I happen to love cricket very much. I think Manindar Singh - Yashpal Sharma - Arun Lal brigade's hindi commentary easily takes the first position among things I hate about cricket. The second place deservedly goes to Charu Sharma, "I-will-give-cute-smile-by-stretching-my-mouth-to-fit-wide-screen-tv" Mandira Bedi and the entire Sony channel who turn the game into soap opera. The next place definitely goes to the losing captain's cliched speech in the post match presentation ceremonies. Here are a few samples:

"We had a bad day at the office" (I hate the guy who invented this statement. Why not work from home for a change?)
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"We are playing non-stop cricket for the last few months. Its taken a toll on the players. I know we are professionals, we are proud of playing for the country, but, well, I mean, you know...(and the show me sympathy look)"
The opposite is true too.
"We had a long break leading to this game. The boys are rusty. We have lost the momentum. We should be better going forward"
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"Its the first time we have been outsmarted in this tournament."
"Mate, you are 0-4 down in the series, what are you talking about?"
"I knew you would ask that. In the first three games, we were outplayed by the opposition."
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"I think there are three things we need to focus on in the future games. We need to bat well, bowl well and field well. Simple!" (Wow, such a relief to hear that. So, you mean you are well prepared with your hairdos and antics, right?)
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"We are beaten by a better team and we are not ashamed to be on the losing side" *with hands on his hips* (If you had seen the ICC rankings table before playing, it would have saved so much trouble)
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"I think our opposition dominated for most part of the game and we did not have a chance" (Most? If you ignore the lunch break, the opposition dominated the 'entire' game. Correct?)
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"We were never in the game" (Waw, I thought it needed two teams to play cricket!)

10 Comments:

  1. Bikerdude said...
    LOL - awesome post buddy! Will be back for more :)
    Madhuri said...
    :) Funny!
    What about the winning captain's speeches though - especially our owns. Straight out of a Management book.
    shark said...
    totally agree with you!
    I am sick and tired of "excuses"... it's one this today it's another thing tomorrow *yawn*
    Bhel Puri & Seekh Kabab said...
    Funny. I don't watch too much cricket these days, but it looks like all these guys took the same management seminar, "How to speak American Corporatese"

    BPSK
    krupa said...
    I didn't know that guys could hate Mandira Bedi!

    Plunging necklines will only take an irritating woman this far;)
    plush said...
    lol..."y not work from home ..."...haha...i know...they should do that!
    rk said...
    vasuki,
    sorry this is totally off topic.
    RwB is really happy to tag you. visit the blog for details.
    cheers
    rk
    Abhi said...
    Not to forget the latest comment by our very own skipper M.S.Dhoni (After losing the 5th ODI against Australia)
    When he asked "What went wrong in the game?" The answer was "Everything went wrong except the Toss.." :-)
    Madhuri said...
    At least that's a more honest and less 'windy' answer.
    Flatfooter said...
    I always thought the same - how can they say different things if they are playing 157 matches per year!!

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