J And J Went Up

When was the last time I had met U? (No, I am not a messaging freak. So, U does not mean "you", U means "U")
U looked majestic as she walked, her Irish skin glowing in that evening sun. And there was I accompanying her. (For the uninitiated blog readers, I does not mean "me", I means "I")
Both U and I offer me handshakes and we sit on a bench nearby.
All of a sudden, U asks me "Can I get some pepsi for us?"
I looked surprised. It surprises me too. U was the laziest person we had ever seen and completely surprised by this question.
"What happened Madame Lazee?", me teases her.
"Hey dumbo, I loves searching vending machine, he will get the pepsi for us. Me aint goin' nowhere no more" My guess was that she has been listening to lot of R&B nowadays.
I gets up and goes searching for the vending machine.
"Know what, I have never told this to anyone. But, I was in love with U since the college days", I tell her.
"Really dumbo? Why were you silent all these days? Its too late, nothing can be done now right? At least I feel happy to know. Thank God, I is gone, coz I get scared when I becomes jealous"
"No fool, I was talking about U. She used to sit next to you in the exams - you had consecutive registration numbers!"
U seemed a bit disappointed, for some reason I could not quite figure out - "Oh I got it, I thought it was something else, I is coming. Stop!", she said as I comes balancing 3 pepsi cans in his hands.
We watch the fireworks in the distant skies as we slowly finish our pepsi.

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Agreed, that was a lousy little story. No doubts about that. The point I was trying to make is even after more than two years of serious blog reading, I find it extremely stressful to read posts where people have single letter acronyms. The effort increases drastically when someone meets their friends R1, P1, R2, R3, P2, P4 and J (For those of you who might be wondering why P4 after P2, P3 could not make it in the last minute! ;) )

Does anybody feel the same way or is it just me?

There are only three reasons I can think of for SLA (Single Letter Acronym) approach.
1) Laziness - I am always a huge supporter for laziness. So, go ahead and use R1, R2 while you write. Once you are done, do a search and replace with actual names. Easy!
2) Abstraction - I dont think my friends will get upset if I use their real names (not unless I say mean things about them!) In fact, they would be happy that you have not reduced their identity to a single letter. Yet, many non-anonymous bloggers use SLA. It looks cool, but definitely not reader-friendly.
3) Anonymity - A few bloggers remain anonymous and they would want to extend that anonymity to their circle as well. Thankfully, nobody has used M, F, W, H when referring to mother, father, wife, husband. It is not so easy when you are talking about multiple relatives, friends or colleagues. How about using abstractions like "coolguy_78", "hotbabe_blr", "pathetic neighbor", "friend, another friend, yet another friend" - or something like that. That was bad suggestion, I know. So, how about changing their names and writing the post? The best approach would be to write their actual names and still retain anonymity. [Example: A blogger named Vasuki cribs on unnecessary things (name changed to maintain confidentiality)] :))

I am scared of the day where kindergarten kids will be taught:
J & J went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water
J fell down and broke his crown
And J came tumbling after.

10 Comments:

  1. Abhi said...
    V that was a good one :-)
    Waiting for S's comments just in case she stumbles through this post :-)
    Soumia said...
    Hey Vasuki, That was a funny one. Even i have used the 'letters' just to mainitan confidentiality.But the one u (u means you)considered a bad suggestion would defnitely make a post better than just letters.
    but was it MPD script?
    serendipity said...
    :D Why O Y!

    I love the acronyms and the mystery that shrouds them :)
    Bhel Puri & Seekh Kabab said...
    Lol, nice post. I don't think I have used S' (oops, I mean SLA's) in my posts, but the next time I am tempted to do so, I will be sure to remember you and desist.

    BPSK
    Bit Hawk said...
    @abhi
    Good that you liked the post. I dont know which 'S' you are talking about. There are quite a few 'S' who read my blog.
    This post was not directed towards anyone in particular (if thats what it seemed to you), I was just annoyed by my inability to get used to SLAs.

    @soumia
    This was just a SPD script! MPD plus SLA would make a deadly combo!

    @serendipity
    I used to like it initially. But, when people are referred to as algebra variables, it loses the personal touch I guess.

    @BPSK
    Thanks a lot!
    shark said...
    lol! Firstly that was an awesome post.

    Secondly, bloggers (me included) who use acronyms do not use "I" and "U" and make it so complicated that we can't read it ourselves later :-P

    Thirdly, as far as I have seen bloggers stick to a few people while talking about them in the blog. Hence the usage of all English alphabets in a post is kind of rare ;-)

    Fourthly and finally... rhymes will never change!
    Hip Grandma said...
    'U' and 'I' have a lot in common. They both get on people's nerves and drive senior citizen like me CRAZY.Wren and Martin may be holding meetings up in heaven to deal with these single letter acronyms.
    krupa said...
    Even I find it very annoying when people use alphabets while referring to people!
    Abhi said...
    More about J's - Chk dis out http://bloguit.blogspot.com/2007/10/im-so-j-already.html
    Anonymous said...
    was just cruising....very well written posts.kudos! loved the j and j bit....keep it up:)

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