Skip to main content

Unwanted analysis!

I had been to Chamundi hills this saturday with my brother. We both love to observe people and do unwanted analysis and build imaginary theories or stories around that.

We stopped to take some rest near the 600-mark. A group of middle aged pot bellied uncles were arguing about who would reach the hill top if they started running now and some intense discussion about chicken curries. It got boring after a while and our attention turned towards two vehicles parked nearby. One was a scooty KA-09 EE-33 something. Other was a Kinetic Nova KA-09 EE-38 something.

We started doing our analysis with the minimal details that we had. The analysis made below are highly prone to inaccuracies, due to the lack of details.
  • Since the vehicles are scooty and nova, they must be the vehicles of two girls.
  • Since scooty looks like an older registration, it must be of one of the friends - who must be confident among the two.
  • The second girl had no intention of buying a vehicle. But, her friend would have convinced her that she also needs a vehicle and her father might have also persuaded her into buying a vehicle.
  • Now, the second girl also wanted to buy scooty, but decided against it, as it would look like she is copying the first girl.
  • Also, the first girl would have suggested that a bigger vehicle like nova suits her better (what a nice and polite way of saying she's fat!)

We had enough of this analysis and start climbing. We forgot about those vehicles and our discussion turned towards music and irritating, repititive mail forwards. (Have you observed, that people who send irritating forwards are also the ones who mail very regularly! :D) Now, we reach K900 and settle down. A little away from us are sitting a guy, a girl wearing black planet X shirt and a short-haired girl wearing white shirt.
Now, for ease of typing, let me call them The Guy, Miss Black and Miss White. (There is no racial intent in this naming convention. Its a bit Tarantino-ish and saves some keystrokes)
Here are the facts:
  • The guy is on one of the sides.
  • Miss Black is next to him.
  • Miss White is next to Miss Black.
  • The distance between Miss White and Miss Black is almost twice the distance between The guy and Miss Black. (Almost looks like there are two entities, The guy-Miss Black combo and Miss White)

Now, the possibilites and the analysis.
  • From the final fact, the possibility that the guy and Miss White are a couple is zilch.
  • They all could be just friends and may be all this analysis is totally meaningless. But, such an assumption kills all the fun. So, let us ignore that ;)
  • Miss Black has the most irritating and shrill voice I have ever heard. On top of that, she tries to act cute and bubbly (Blame it on the Johars and Chopras!) And Miss White is actually quite beautiful and dignified. Any sane guy cannot be in love with Miss Black when there is a Miss White. But hey, we all know, most guys have terrible taste. So, the possibility of the guy in love with Miss Black cannot be ruled out!
  • With that assumption, how does Miss White fit into this whole thing? Could she be the guy's sister or cousin or friend? No way, no guy would bring along another person with him. She must be Miss Black's friend (Miss Black would have asked her to accompany her for security reasons and general advices!)
  • Miss Black bringing her friend means she is still in the "is-her-or-is-he-not" phase of her relationship with the guy.

Now, we started coming down the hill. We discuss a lot on the correctness of our theory. I wished to see the guy and Miss Black go in the same vehicle, which would have proved that my theory was right (because he would drop her at her home, which would mean that her parents know and they are okay!) But, the guy leaves on his bike and the girls leave in another vehicle. Miss Black and the guy may be just friends or in the alpha phase of their relationship. But, they are definitely not in the post-beta phase, I deduce finally.

With a feeling of accomplishment and a sense of victory even in defeat, I wonder why its the most stupid and unwanted things that brings us great joy.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Now u know why movies of Rajshree and Karen Johar are a hit... Unwanted things can be a lot of fun. One more analysis most funny things are unwanted :)
- Aravind
Anonymous said…
Nice time-pass.

Popular posts from this blog

ಹೀಗೊಂದು ಹಾರರ್ ಕಥೆ

ಅದೊಂದು ಊರಾಚೆ ಇರೋ ಸ್ಮಶಾನ. ನಿರ್ಜನ ಪ್ರದೇಶದಲ್ಲಿ ಇದ್ದುದರಿಂದಲೋ ಏನೋ ಅದರ ಬಳಿ ಯಾರೂ ಸುಳಿದಾಡುತ್ತಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ. ಅದರ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ಇದ್ದ ಕಟ್ಟುಕತೆಗಳೂ ಏನೂ ಕಮ್ಮಿ ಇರಲಿಲ್ಲ. ಅಮಾವಾಸ್ಯೆಯ ರಾತ್ರಿ ಅದರ ಬಳಿ ಹಾದುಹೋದವರು ಒಂದು ವಾರದೊಳಗೆ ರಕ್ತ ಕಾರಿಕೊಂಡು ಸಾಯ್ತಾರಂತೆ, ಅಲ್ಲಿನ ಹುಣಸೆಮರಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ಹುಣಸೆಹಣ್ಣು ಬಿಡೋದು ನಿಂತು ವರ್ಷಗಳೇ ಆಗಿದೆಯಂತೆ ಹೀಗೆ...ಅದು ನಿಜವೋ ಸುಳ್ಳೋ ಅಂತ ಪರೀಕ್ಷಿಸೋ ಧೈರ್ಯ ಯಾರಿಗಿದ್ದೀತು? ಪಾಪ ಆ ಸ್ಮಶಾನಕ್ಕಾದರೂ ಅಷ್ಟೇ, ಆ ಊರಲ್ಲಿ ಸತ್ತವರನ್ನು ಹೂಳಲು ತಂದಾಗ ಮಾತ್ರ ಜನರ ದರ್ಶನದ ಭಾಗ್ಯ! ಅವನು ಹುಟ್ಟಾ ಹುಂಬ. "ನಿನ್ ಕೈಲಿ ಆಗಲ್ಲ ಬಿಡು" ಅಂತ ಅವನ ಗೆಳೆಯರು ಹೇಳಿದ್ದಕ್ಕೋ ಏನೋ ಅವನ ತಲೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಆ ಆಲೋಚನೆ ಹೊಕ್ಕಿಬಿಟ್ಟಿತ್ತು. ಚಿಕ್ಕ ವಯಸ್ಸು ಬೇರೆ, ಬಿಸಿ ರಕ್ತ. ಏನಾದರಾಗಲೀ ನೋಡೇಬಿಡೋಣ ಅಂತ ನಿರ್ಧರಿಸಿ ಆ ರಾತ್ರಿ ಒಬ್ಬನೇ ಸ್ಮಶಾನಕ್ಕೆ ಹೋಗುವುದೆಂದು ನಿರ್ಧರಿಸಿಬಿಟ್ಟಿದ್ದ. ಆಸೆಗಿಂತ ಭಯ ದೊಡ್ಡದು, ಅದಕ್ಕಿಂತ ದೊಡ್ಡದು ಕೆಟ್ಟ ಕುತೂಹಲ. ನೆತ್ತಿಯ ಮೇಲಿನ ಸೂರ್ಯನನ್ನು ನೋಡಿ, ಇವನು ಮುಳುಗಲು ಇನ್ನೂ ಎಷ್ಟು ಹೊತ್ತು ಅಂತ ಚಡಪಡಿಸತೊಡಗಿದ. ಮಧ್ಯರಾತ್ರಿಯ ಸಮಯ. ಯಾರಿಗೂ ಸುಳಿವು ಕೊಡದೆ ಸ್ಮಶಾನದೆಡೆಗೆ ಹೊರಟವನ ಎದೆಯಲ್ಲಿದ್ದಿದ್ದು ಬರೀ ಹುಮ್ಮಸ್ಸು. ಕೊಂಚವೂ ಭಯವಿಲ್ಲದ ಈ ಸ್ಥಿತಿ ಅಸಹಜವಾ ಅಂತ ತನಗೆ ತಾನೇ ಕೇಳಿಕೊಂಡ. ಭಯ ಹುಟ್ಟಿಸೋ ತಾಕತ್ತಿರುವುದು ಭ್ರಮೆಗೆ ಮಾತ್ರ. ಆಗ ಮಾತ್ರ ತಂಗಾ...

Anartha Kosha

I finished reading the delightful "Anartha Kosha" by Na Kasturi . Its a 'one of its kind' book in Kannada. Though it seems to resemble Ambrose Bierce's "Devil's Dictionary", Kasturi adds more flavors to the book - by making puns with existing words, coining new words sounding like existing words, merging two Kannada words to form a new word, merging Kannada word with an English word, twisting the proverbs etc. - to hilarious effect. Go read the full book, till then here is the list of my favorite ones from the book: ಅಕಟಕಟಾ - ನಾವು ಹೀಗೆ ರೋಧಿಸುತ್ತಿದ್ದಾಗ ತಮಿಳರು ಅಯ್ಯೋ ಅನ್ನುತ್ತಿದರು. ಅಚ್ಚಾತುರ್ಯ - ಅಚ್ಚು ಮಾಡುವಾಗಿನ ಚಾತುರ್ಯ, ಬರಹಗಾರರು ಮಾಡುವ ತಪ್ಪುಗಳನ್ನು ಸರಿಪಡಿಸುವ ಜಾಣತನ; ಮೊಳೆ ಜೋಡಿಸುವುದರಿಂದ ಹೊಸ ಭಾಷಾ ಪ್ರಯೋಗಗಳನ್ನು ರಚಿಸುವ ಚಮತ್ಕಾರ. ಅಣುಕಂಪ - ಒಂದು ಊರಲ್ಲಿ ಅಣು ಬಾಂಬು ಸಿಡಿದಾಗ ನೆರೆಯೂರುಗಳಲ್ಲಾಗುವ ಸಂತಾಪ. ಅತಿಯಾಸೆ - ನಮಗಿಂತ ಹೆಚ್ಚು ಲಾಭ ಗಳಿಸಲು ಪ್ರಯತ್ನಪಡುವವರ ದುರ್ಗುಣ. ಅತ್ತೆ - ಈಕೆಗೆ ಮೀಸೆ ಬಂದರೆ, ಚಿಕ್ಕಪ್ಪ ಎಂದು ಕರೆಯಬಹುದು - ಮರೆಯಲ್ಲಿ. ಅನುಕಾರಣ - ಒಂದು ಕಾರಿನ ಹಿಂದೆ ಮತ್ತೊ...

Nonsense logic of a cricket crazy nation

I am quite a cricket fan myself and I love watching and playing cricket (arguably the best left handed batsman of Kuvempunagar ;)) I don't care if it is a test match or one-day, Indo-Pak series or World Cup. I can even watch the galli cricket, as I adore the art in the game. Its the poetry in the game that appeals to me. I always considered that Indian cricket team consists of some amazing players, but we are nowhere near when it comes to a good team. We have never won convincingly for too long and we are never predictable (Its not just a problem with India, but all the sub-continent teams) Off late, India have been playing pretty badly (as bad as they are capable of) and we are seeing intense reactions from the "fans". I somehow don't understand many of the logic behind the anger of the "fans"! 1) The most stupid statement I hear very often is "Cricketers are playing badly because they are concentrating too much on advertisements". Come on, can an...